Friday, July 6, 2007
SCREAMING
READY TO SCREAM, GIVE UP AND STOP CARING. I thought my life was going to be different, I thought I was going to live a life of good and have peace and happiness and be healthy so I could love and take care of my SON but that isn't the freaking plan. My son could lose his mom right in front of his own eye's. I hate that feeling, why didn;t god give me this befor I had a son, when I was a freaking loser with nothing to show for and a life of nothing but drugs, and partying or how about when my stupid ass father and his friends were abusing me, why couldn;t he take me then. I HATE IT SO MUCH.
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222 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 222 of 222Dear Nicole,
I'm here through Especially Heather also. Looking at the other comments, it is very apparent there are people that don't know you, but care about you and are concerned about you. How much more does our Father in Heaven, who knows the very number of hairs on your head, how much more does He care about you? There is no way to explain why this is happening to you. I know it's not because of anything you've done wrong. We live in a sinful world, and bad things happen to good people. BUT, God is still on the throne, He still loves you, He still cares about you, and He bore the stripes for our healing before he died on the cross for our sins. He loves YOU! Isaiah 41:10 says, "Fear thou not, for I am with thee, be not dismayed for I am thy God. I will strengthen thee, yea I will help thee, yea I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."
You are loved! I'm praying for you!
Nicole,
Have faith. Please have faith. We can't understand everything, and sometimes things on this earth just grab us and hurt us, but have faith.
I found out about you through Especially Heather's site. Go to her site, as she is fighting the same disease with God' love and help.
God Bless
Nicole -
I have said a prayer for you and your son for peace and wisdom and strength and love and comfort. Please take all your anger and fear to God. He can handle it. He can bring you peace and joy in the midst of all this.
I am so sorry to hear of your illness. I will be thinking of you and I'll check back in.
Jan
Nicole, I came to your site through Heather also...I am so sorry for what you are going through and my heart breaks for you ! I have been praying for you and did a post today where I linked you...
You have more people caring about you than you could have ever guessed! You are not alone!!
And God is right behind you...turn around and let Him carry you!!
Nicole, here from Especially Heather. Dear One, you MUST find you a local church that can be the helping hands of the precious Lord Jesus for you at this time. Allow them to minister to you physically, spiritually, emotionally, and socially. You seem to be so isolated and you need help. They can and will provide that to you now.
Oh sweetie,
Please know that I am praying for you and your son. I am also praying for the healing of your relationship with your parents. Our God is an awesome God and would never punish us for our past. That is why he sent his son for us. His word says that there is nothing too difficult for him. We stand firm on his word and have faith that he is going to heal you. Please, please, cry out to him and develop a relationship with him. He will never leave you. That is his promise.
JESUS does love and care for you. You need to ask Him into your heart and live for Him. I am so sorry that you are sick, Cancer is something that is awful. BUT you can survive. I am praying for you and for you son. Know that you are loved. A lot of people are here for you to talk to. PLEASE do not give up, your son needs you. but most of all You need him too.
I hope that I have not offened you in any way. Just want you to know that we care. love in Christ,
Kerley Family
Isn't our Abba Father awesome!!! I stopped by to see how you're doing and saw all the comments from everyone. He knew you needed a little encouragement!
I'm praying for you.
God was with you when you chose to keep your baby at all odds. He was with you when you held him to your chest for the first time. He loves you, and he loves your son. God may choose to help you fight this cancer, and give you a long life here on Earth. He may choose to take you to His heavenly home (if you believe on Him). Regardless of your future, you can direct your son's future. Embrace God during this time, and teach your son that God is the ONLY One who will ALWAYS be with him, and that He will take care of him. If you are truly concerned for your son, spend time with him and teach him these things... through your example.
It is natural to be angry. It is okay to be sad. By all means... cry out to God... and know that He is good, and He has a plan. Find comfort in His Word. I know from experience, that He will provide that comfort.
I will continue to pray for you. I know a lot of people have written you, but feel free to write me if you want.
-Karen in Cali (mrs_karen@sbcglobal.net)
Nicole,
Your story has truly touched my heart. God loves you so much and he so desperately wants you to understand that.
You and your son are in my prayers.
We never know Gods plan... you just have to trust and believe. I will pray for you!
God Bless!
and im sorry.
As a Nurse, I see it..
there is hope...
as a Hospice nurse,,,
there is always peace
as a Christian
There is Christ
I am praying
Nicole,
Don't try to walk away. You can't.
Don't think God did this to you. He couldn't.
Don't let satan steal your hope. It's not his.
He made you. He will carry you. He will sustain you.
And we will pray for you.
Michelle
Wow. What could I possibly say that hasn't been said here?
I will join this army of women praying for healing for you and checking in. Hang in there.
Nicole, Romans 8:18 says "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."
There is glory to be revealed through your suffering. God is allowing this because He is drawing you to Himself and others to Himself through you. What a privilege to be needed and used by God!
So stand firm, draw near to God, be encouraged, be hopeful, and do not fear death.
Hi from England. I came via Heather's blog, and just want to tell you I am praying for you and your son. You must be an amazingly strong woman to have raised him alone. You can fight, and God will never leave you.
I'm praying too. You have all these women lifting you up - I hope you feel it. Please give us an update soon.
Hi Nicole.
If you even read this, it would be a miracle, since you more comments in one post then I've received in 6 months of blogging. I just want to say, if you need a place in California to get awayor to send your son for awhile (or longer), you are welcome to come here. I would love to get to know you and/or your son, without judgement. My husband and I are not perfect, (Ha, not even the tiniest bit close!) and I struggle with my relationship with God daily (at least on the days I acknowledge him), but he is the only one who got me through my sister's losing battle with cancer, and I know he can help you with yours. If you would like to talk about this, kids, crappy parents, or the weather in So. California, you can @ humincat@yahoo.com. I'll be thinking of you and your boy.
Hi Nicole,
Checking in again from MA. Where are you from?
I can only imagine your exhaustion in all of this, emotionally, physically etc... I have found for myself it is better to focus on what I would like to happen, (healing, love etc...) rather than put all of my energy into coming up against all of it which is more of a negative draining thing. I hope that makes some kind of sense. I know what I mean... =P Maybe it would help you....thought I would put it out there.
Still praying,
Our God is a BIG God...
He is bigger than cancer
He will provide
I hope you feel His arms around you...
Jenn
Just stopping by here to check in on you again. I hope you are encouraged by what the Lord is doing here. May you seek His strength; He will see you through.
Praying for you...
Dear Nicole
praying for you.
-M (single mom to 2 in tx)
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