Thursday, July 19, 2007
LADIES
Hello Ladies, I did a lot of thinking tonight and you all are right. I know who I am and where I came from and where I am today. Yes I didnt have it easy growing up but I learned that I can give my son the life I didn't have. He is my life. Ladies when I first found out a while ago about my results, I got so freaked out and didn't know what to do except for closing off myself from the world because I was afraid. Over the last few day, seeing and reading all the comments from you all, it really touched my heart. I may not be good at showing it but it's soooooo true. I had so many beautiful messages that meant the world. Tonight I had to go through some of them again and allow them to speak to me. When I recieved that one comment from that person that doesnt know anything about me , I was angry not because they were right but because how cruel people can be but someone said on a comment that I had one bad comment from a person but every other one was beautiful and meant someothing. Ladies I hope you all can forgive me for my additude, frustration and bitterness but the truth is I was scared. I guess it is easier to blame this on God, then to try to admit that I am sick and scared. Ladies you all are soooo beautiful, words cant explain it. I am going to take this one step at a time and live to the fullest with my son until the last breath that I take. He comes back on Friday from my friends parents farm and I am going to love him , spend time with him and tell him how much God has blessed me with all of you. I even may allow him to read the comments from you all. LADIES, from today on, I will not party anymore, drink or what ever else that isnt good for me. Will I mess up ever, oh I will ladies but who doesn't. There are so many people that I would love to thank but I think I will just write on their blogs....but I do thank every single one of yous ..even the one that left that untrue comment. Darla and Heather I THANK YOU TWO SO MUCH. Darla is like that mother I havent had, she's been awesome and I love her with my whole heart. Heather I thank you for allowing others to read of your blog about me, it's funny I dont know how you found me or even heard about me but I was very touched from what you did for me. I am praying for you, I may not be a good prayer or know what to say but I will. Thank you again ladies. I am glad to have you all on board, well I walk through this journey. Thank you
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18 comments:
Love you Chica! YOu are precious to God and to me. I am so glad that you sound so good, and you are making the right choice in trusting God in this. It is always very comforting to me to know that HE knows everything about me and still loves me. HE knows how many times I made bad choices, and still HE picks me up and carries me. I don't know much about alot of things, but I know God is good, and that I (and YOU) can not out sin HIS great forgivenss and love. I love that we all get do-overs with God! Love ya, you are my precious chica! :)
some times it takes a bunch of somethign (us) to open our eyes and let God show us where He is... only through HIM can we do our best.
Nicole,
Take it one day at a time... Don't worry about tomorrow, Gods already there. It is my honor to lift you up to a God who knows you better than you know yourself :)
I'm praying for you today :)
-H
And we will keep praying. You are the one fighting this battle, but you are never alone. We are here and we care.
d:)
What a wonderful step in the right direction. You have so many people praying for you! Take whatever help is offered. We all need to help each other.
God Bless
I am so happy to hear from you! I am thrilled at what I've read! All the anger and frustration you felt/feel, Nicole, that is all normal. There is nothing wrong with getting angry at God. I believe He (God) is working in your life. And...just so you know. He loves you just the way you are! You are a precious creation of His and your life is going to reflect that...it already his. Bless you, my sweets!
This is a wonderful post. I had not commented before but the MANY who have literally spoke life to you and I am thankful to each one of them. God is faithful!!!
Susan
Beautiful to see you "get it." Beautiful to see that you understand that it was not God who made you ill but it was God who sent all those people over to lift you up in a time of pain and sadness. Beautiful to see that prayer works and if we can pray that you would see the truth of the situation you are in you could also see the truth of who God really is.
You have made my day, Nicole. I will carry you in my prayers.
*hugs*
I am so very glad to read this post.
I was thinking about you yesterday and how I I wish I could somehow talk to you and help you see life is so very worth fighting for.
I have often in my life been at a point where I was ready and willing to just give up. Somehow I never did though. And now, years later my life is so good and I am so blessed.
Life can be so very hard, and I am sorry you're having a rough time.
*hugs*
dogwooddreams at gmail dot com is my email feel free to email anytime you need to.
It's soooo great hearing you have a more positive attitude!! We'll keep praying that God bring you through TODAY and that He use your son to help strengthen you!
oh, nicole, we can see Christ in you right now! He will give you everything you need to be there for your precious son. oh the lessons you can teach him for the rest of his life! and, yes, you will have low times and wondering, confused times. God will be there with you at those times even when you don't feel him there (google "footprints" if you've never read this incredible poem). i am praying that if you live in austin you seek out mosaicaustin.org. they will love you like the family you never had. WE will love you as well!
Glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better. I'm sure that all of us would have felt the same way you do about what is going on. Just take it one day at a time and enjoy being with your son. There is a really great book out there that I would highly recommend reading. I've read it myself and have given it to others that are going through tough times. It is called "Just Enough Light For The Step I'm On" by Stormie Omartian. If you would like it and don't have the funds for it leave me a message on my blog and I will get you a copy. I will keep you in my prayers. Lisa
Nicole,
I love your honesty and I love and admire honest people. For you to get angry at untrue comments, it's fair. You are fighting cancer and your emotions are very sensitive. Allow yourself to go through the different emotions. They are okay. God won't disown you because you are angry. He will love you the same....unconditional love.
My prayers for you today.
Katy
Oh how precious you are - I wish I could hug you. May God comfort your heart and lift your eyes to Him. I will continue to pray for you and your son. Sunshine
I'm glad you are seeing that God is by your side, and so are we. We care about you and your son, and hope and pray that you take in the love that we have to give. Have a great time today, and enjoy that wonderful boy of yours. I'm glad you've made the commitment to live a healthier life, cause you deserve it. See ya.
Nicole,
Sending you love today and lots of prayers. Please, you don't ever need to ask our forgiveness. You are loved just how you are.
Lots of hugs,
Lisa :)
Nicole,
The title of your blog is a prayer right there. There is no right way to pray as long as it is from the heart. <3
Let us help you on this journey. . .keep writing and reaching out to us. Someday you will look back on this and be glad that you wrote it all down, whether it was positive or negative.
I love to see how God brings people together to support one another, even on the Internet. And this is just a glimpse of what Heaven will be like!
Hope your doctor's appointment goes well tomorrow. Will be thinking of you.
-L
Nicole,
This was such a heart felt post. I am so glad that you are letting us encourage you. I know for me I am here because I know how strong the power of prayer is. I want you to be uplifted and know you are in no way alone in this.
May the Father give you a peace and many days filled with healing coming your way!
You are loved
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