I am 27 year old single mom of a 12 year old ( yes I was 15 when I had him for who ever is tying to calculate it in your head lol ) Can you ever think of waking up fine one day to getting news that you have cancer. Well I did? I was just find weeks ago but one day I felt really ruin down, sick even throwing up, my eyes were kind of going yellow and my feet and hands were even starting to swall , thought that I had the flu. They ran test on me and decided to take some xrays, then a few days later my doctor sent me for a MRI and thats when it was found. When I was called in , I new something wasn't right. After I left his office, I didn't think anything or talked about it for 24 hours after that's when I started to question my faith and wondering were God was. I asked myself . DOES GOD REALLY LOVE ME AND MY SON!!! I don't want to die, my son is my life...OK I AM SCARED, FRUSTRATED AND DON"T UNDERSTAND IT. My son is all I have, if God takes me away, then who will he have, where will he go. FOSTER CARE, NO WAY. He can't goto his dad, he hasn't seen him since he was 2 and he is a huge drinker and into drugs, my parents dont have anything to with us as they wanted me to have an abortion and I ran away so they couldn't make me do it, when I came back they thro me out and disowned me and never took us back in and they only seen him oncw when he was a baby.My dad looked at him and looked at me and said you should of got an abortion as you will never ever be a good mom, I walked out and told myself that I will be a great mom no matter how old I am, ok am I perfect NO but my son is my life and I love him and he knows its.
I DON'T WANT TO DIE?
14 comments:
Sweet Nicole,
Hear me sweetie, when I say, "God does love you and your son!" Never, never, doubt that for a single moment. I do not have an answer for "why" this is happening to you, but I can tell you without a doubt that God and only God can bring good from it. We will never know Him as the provider of our every need until we find ourselves in need. In the book of Isaiah, chapter 61, there is what I like to call the "job description" of Jesus....what He came to do....what He came to give us...to give to YOU! Take some time to read it, sweet one, and know that Jesus came to give you those things.
Please be assured of my prayers for you and your son! I know that the responses that you get from all of us in "blogland" might seem trite and unhelpful, but believe me, some of us have walked where you are walking now, and some of us have gone through worse. Pain is pain no matter where it comes from...it just plain ol' HURTS and it is SCARY! But we have found JESUS to be our sustainer and provider in the midst of our pain and fear. He understands, He really does. In the book of Hebrews, chapter 4, verses 14-15, it says that Jesus experienced everything we experience and He understands where we are and He wants us to draw near to Him so we can find help in our time of need. (that's the Tammie paraphrase!) Cry out to Him, Nicole, He will meet you where you are...He can't wait to come to your rescue!
With much love in Jesus!
Tammie
I am praying for you Nicole. I read Tammie's reply and I agree with her.
Cry out to Jesus. He will hear your prayer. He will hold you in His arms. He will never leave you!
Nicole, I left a message for you with the siestas, on the first haircut..and then found this...
I don't know what it is like to have cancer, but I do know near death experiences and I do know the love a mother has for her children. I was a single mother of two girls for a long time...
Short version...
Even when I thought I could not hold on to Jesus, Jesus does not let go of me. And HE will not let go of you or your son. God does not ever fail us...and HE is faithful even when we are not. Please hold on to HIM with everything you have, and I am going to commit to praying for you my dear sister with everything that I have.
Have you ever read Believing God? Do you remember the story of Joshua and the uphill march in the dark...this is one of those times...and God will be glorious and I am praying for you to see HIS glory.
Sweetheart, God will not ever let go of you, and HE loves you so much (Max Lucado said if God had a refrigerator your picture would be on the it)! I presently am leading a bible study group at my church and one in my home...and we will all be lifting you and your son to HIM. God doesn't do things like us, and when I take a look at myself, I am so glad that HE don't. Email if you need someone to keep in touch, I check regularly about twice a day. Love and Prayers your sister in Christ Darla
psalm1473@comcast.net
Nicole,
Just woke up and wanted to check on you. I am praying for much for you. I noticed you deleted your newest post, and I just want you to come back on, and leave something so we know how you are, and better how to pray for you.
I noticed the time on the posts..I am in Pensylvania so my timing isn't the same as yours, but I am checking twice a day for you.
Do you have a church that you attend? Come back and tell me more about you, I want to tell you more about how I know that Jesus loves you so much..and God has not forgotten you. Love you dear sister, and you are not alone. Love and Prayers, Darla
You are going to have to fight! Ps.103:3, Ps.107:20, Jer. 17:14a, 1Peter 3:12a, Jer.30:17. Repeat these scriptures every single day...several times in the following manner: Once to God, thanking Him; once to the devil, prefacing it with, "It is written"; and once to yourself, prefacing it with, "I believe." The word, 'health' in Proverbs 4:22 in Hebrew means medicine.
Keep a journal each day. This will be such a gift for you and your child in the future...to read and remind you of God's mighty healing power. I don't know you but my Jesus does and He alone has the power to completely heal you. I can never figure out why things have to happen like this but you can know that He alone has it in control! It may on the outside look like things are all messed up but that is His specialty..the impossible! When you feel the most desperate that is when you are set up for a miracle from my Jesus! You will draw strength from His word. The moment you start to feel depressed~~run to God's healing scriptures and speak life into your body...and be healed by taking a Rx already there just waiting for you to take it..and BELIEVE..and live a life that was intended for you and your child! ATPTC*~All Things Possible Through Christ~
Hey sweetie! I keep checking for you, and want you to know that there are lots of prayers going up for you, and waiting to hear from you that you feel them! Praying for you to feel HIS arms around you, and for you to follow the advice of these dear women and really run to the LORD and not away from HIM. I will keep checking on you, How is that son of yours? What grade in school is he, and does he play any sports? Just want to pray more for him too!
Hope you made it to church today, Church always helps me refocus through the tough times, and just helps me rejoice through the good.
God is good, All the time!
DON'T TRUST ANYONE, THEIR GOD ISN'T REAL.THEY ALL ARE LYING TO YOU.
I FOUND YOU ON THIS CRAZY GOD WEB SITE. THEY ALL ARE NUTS, THEIR GOD DOESN'T REALLY HEAL.THEIR LIEING TO YOU.
I HAVE SOME GREAT SITE'S ON WITCH CRAFT, AND ALL THAT STUFF THAT WILL HELP YOU.
TRUST ME ON THIS!!!
Nicole,
Hoping that you are feeling well today, and believing God for everything. As children of the Most High God, we are covered in the Blood of Jesus, and the enemy has to retreat, he has no power ever you. "In the Holy Precious name of Jesus, send the enemy away. We believe therefore we speak."
Jesus is the KING, and we are overcomers because of HIM. Praying for you to know who you are in HIM, and mouth of the enemy to be silenced so you can hear your Saviours voice. Don't let go..hold on for your blessing..God is real and you know that, these precious women are not lying to you.
Jesus said I am the way the truth and the life. We don't have to be afraid, and we don't have to fall to lies, HE has already laid out the example for us, and HIS life for us to never be without HIM. Believe.
Praying so much for you!
Praying for you and your son and keeping you both in my thoughts.
me too.....just praying for you....for your son.....praying and I imagine there will be many from heathers site checking in on you so...keep us posted and fight for all your worth fight....
In reference to the anomoyous poster talking about witchcraft here is what God has to say about that: (it's found in the book of Deuteronmy 18:10-12 and the translation I'm using is the NIV - new international version)
18:10
Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft,
18:11
or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead.
18:12
Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord, and because of these detestable practices the Lord your God will drive out those nations before you.
Praying for you! God does love you and He loves your son. (((HUGS)))
God loves you and your son. He will never leave your side. He is our father and I know at times it is difficult, oh so very difficult to keep following him... especially when things get really tough. Reach out to Jesus. Praise him all day long, teach and encourage your son to praise him. For the Lord our God has always been and always been the start and end of all things. One verse that I always ALWAYS remind myself (i learned it in Vacation bible school as a young child, and it has never left me) Phillipians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Don't forget that. Don't stop fighting, praising, and rejoicing the Lord for what he has given you, your beautiful, precious son.
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